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Some people think “polyamory” is the same thing as “polygamy.”
It *can* be… In the sense that “polygamy” means “marrying more than one”, and some people who are in polyamorous relationships have commitment ceremonies with both/all of their partners.
But in that case, it isn’t legal marriage. And it isn’t forced, or coerced, or slanted toward the man having all the say and control and taking multiple wives. And often, it has nothing to do with religion.
Polyamory is consenting ADULTS loving each other. Equally. Just like a relationship between two people, except there are more than two involved.
It’s interesting to me how many people assume that polyamory is only about sex.
The “amory” part of polyamory comes from the Latin word for love.
Sure, if you’re polyamorous you may be having sex with your partners. But you might not be. You might only be in love with them, and not have sex at all.
I know a few folks who are polyamorous but asexual…they don’t have sex with ANY of their partners. They just love them.
So not only is polyamory not *only* about sex… sometimes it isn’t about sex at all.
I write romances. Many of them have erotic content.
I’m frequently asked if I write from my own experience. This makes little sense to me; people don’t ask mystery writers if they’ve committed murder, or ask people who write historical fiction if they’ve time-traveled.
Yes, I’ve had sex. I’m a 44-year-old heterosexual woman. Sex is fun.
But I haven’t experienced everything I write about. (Hell, I write male/male romance… last time I checked, I don’t have a penis. And I’m not a werewolf or a vampire, either.)
And some of the things I *have* experienced, I have not written.
My characters have their lives, and I have mine. Mine’s pretty cool, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to write it.
Some people find out about my relationship situation and assume—and tell me—I’m a bully or manipulative because I “forced” my husband into accepting it.
Sorry, folks. My husband is the most stubborn man on the face of the planet. He doesn’t let himself be bullied or manipulated. He makes his choices.
And half the time, he chooses to agree with and accept me and my needs and desires before I even realize I have them.
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